I am the kingmaker's daughter. For me life is found in the solutions. Life is simply a series of solutions - how do I pay my bills, how do I feed my family, how do I get along with the people I meet. These are all solutions that make up life.
Problems are no more than air for me - I breathe them, they are my fuel, my life source. I am the kingmaker's daughter - a tool built to solve even the most difficult problems. Bold in the face of the impossible, ready for the challenge. It should make for a life without fear but I would be lying if I said it is so.
The reality is that I am a tool and people are people. People are usually quite fond of my abilities happy to utilize me and I am always willing and ready. I suppose this should make me highly valuable and sought after, fir for a purpose. The problem with tools is that they are easily disposed of and replaced when they break, as all tools do - as all people do. I am not so arrogant as to think that I am the most elaborate or well suited or unbreakable tool of my kind. And thus my only fear is that I will one day break and be discarded of for will no longer be suitable. it seems an inevitable fate - a problem without a solution.
Its a problem I have drilled through and worked over in my mind even now as the odd hours of the morning fade into sunlight. And seems to me that the only resolution to my problem, the only thing capable of unraveling my fear, is love.
Love chooses to mend instead of discard. When we love we do so accepting all faults, all imperfections, all broken pieces and dedicate ourselves without condition. At least this is how I love.
But people are not consistent. Even the best people are up against their own fears, insecurities and imperfections - their own struggles. It seems unfair to expect someone else to carry my burden as well.
In the end I suppose what I fear is human nature - the tendancy of people to discard what they do not care for, what they cannot tolerate, what taxes or stresses them. And how can another person ease a fear that is based in human nature? The only way to combat human nature is qith understanding and that requires highest level of intimacy and compassion. But mostly people hide from these things trying to protect their dark spots their vulnerabilities from view.
You see I fear human nature not because I see it in others but because I see it's tendencies in myself - in my compulsion to find solutions. I know sometimes the best solution is to discard what does not work. And if such things are in me I suppose I believe they are in everyone. Maybe my fear is that everyone is like me but more reckless and less compassionate. Maybe I just want to proven wrong. Oh how I do hope the rest of the world is far better than I am.
But I am still the kingmaker's daughter and the day is risen so I must put my fear away.
Problems are no more than air for me - I breathe them, they are my fuel, my life source. I am the kingmaker's daughter - a tool built to solve even the most difficult problems. Bold in the face of the impossible, ready for the challenge. It should make for a life without fear but I would be lying if I said it is so.
The reality is that I am a tool and people are people. People are usually quite fond of my abilities happy to utilize me and I am always willing and ready. I suppose this should make me highly valuable and sought after, fir for a purpose. The problem with tools is that they are easily disposed of and replaced when they break, as all tools do - as all people do. I am not so arrogant as to think that I am the most elaborate or well suited or unbreakable tool of my kind. And thus my only fear is that I will one day break and be discarded of for will no longer be suitable. it seems an inevitable fate - a problem without a solution.
Its a problem I have drilled through and worked over in my mind even now as the odd hours of the morning fade into sunlight. And seems to me that the only resolution to my problem, the only thing capable of unraveling my fear, is love.
Love chooses to mend instead of discard. When we love we do so accepting all faults, all imperfections, all broken pieces and dedicate ourselves without condition. At least this is how I love.
But people are not consistent. Even the best people are up against their own fears, insecurities and imperfections - their own struggles. It seems unfair to expect someone else to carry my burden as well.
In the end I suppose what I fear is human nature - the tendancy of people to discard what they do not care for, what they cannot tolerate, what taxes or stresses them. And how can another person ease a fear that is based in human nature? The only way to combat human nature is qith understanding and that requires highest level of intimacy and compassion. But mostly people hide from these things trying to protect their dark spots their vulnerabilities from view.
You see I fear human nature not because I see it in others but because I see it's tendencies in myself - in my compulsion to find solutions. I know sometimes the best solution is to discard what does not work. And if such things are in me I suppose I believe they are in everyone. Maybe my fear is that everyone is like me but more reckless and less compassionate. Maybe I just want to proven wrong. Oh how I do hope the rest of the world is far better than I am.
But I am still the kingmaker's daughter and the day is risen so I must put my fear away.
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